Goodbye
by Hobbit985
Summary: Rose never got a chance to say goodbye to Doctor number nine so the Tenth agrees to give her that chance back. Rose doesn't know what to say though, there are all these thoughts rushing round her head, what if she was better of not saying goodbye after al
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor wandered along the high street looking at all the humans wandering about shopping, talking, generally being humans. He shuddered at the domesticity of it all. Several of his previous reincarnations had been fond of domestic human traditions but this Doctor found he had a distinct dislike for them. Maybe it wasn't so much his new self as what his new self had been through.

He'd never been the same since the Time War. It didn't help that he blamed himself for what happened either. Maybe that was why he didn't do domestic. It would seem to normal, like he was allowing himself to move on when he felt he had no right in still being alive. He should've burnt with the rest of his kind, with his planet, with his home.

When he'd first woken up in the TARDIS he'd tried to end it all, but the Time Ship had been too smart for him and hidden anything that he could harm himself with. The TARDIS had spent days, weeks, maybe even months healing the Doctor back to full health. At first the Doctor wondered why when he felt so hollow inside, like an empty shell, he should continue to live, but then he convinced himself that death was the soft option. He should have to live with knowing what he'd done, that would be more payback than just dying. He deserved to suffer.

It was then that the Doctor had made a promise to himself never to have another companion, not after what he'd done. He could hardly be trusted with the safety of fellow Time Lords, let alone a human friend. For months he travelled alone saving a race here a planet there, but always moving on before people could even ask questions. Then one day he received a signal and discovered that Autons were planning on taking over planet Earth. Though he knew it would only cause trouble the Doctor decided to see if he could stop them.

It was then that he saw Rose for the first time. As he was wandering round the basement of a department store, a beautiful blonde girl of about twenty stumbled in and almost ruined his plans. He knew he'd have to save her and this would mean making contact with someone for the first time in just over a year. As soon as he grabbed her hand and looked into her gorgeous brown eyes he knew that he was about to break his promise.

Run. That was all he had to say and Rose Tyler was his. The Doctor had found a new reason to live. This human girl who still had everything to learn about the universe had shown an old Time Lord that sometimes older does not mean wiser.

So that was why he was here now. Rose had been travelling with him for a few months now and after the first disastrous visit home (in which he'd accidentally bought her home a year after her departure and not twelve hours), he was beginning to accept it as a part of life. Rose was currently out shopping, probably in one of the shops he was looking at now, with her mother Jackie Tyler.

The Doctor shuddered at the thought of Jackie. The first time they'd met he'd been invited into her bedroom, then the second time she'd smacked him. _Nine hundred years of time travel and I've never been smacked by someone's mother!_ Rose had just laughed at him and it had been all he could do to stop himself chuckling. It did sound funny.

The Doctor sighed and wandered down the street, past the café where the smell of chips was wafting about. He headed towards the park that he and Rose had stood next to when he'd first told her who he was. _Us, this planet, we're falling through space, you and I, clinging to the skin of this planet… and if we let go… that's who I am. Now go home Rose Tyler. Go home and forget about me. _That had been the first time he'd held her hand without the threat of aliens on their tail. The soft skin of her small hand in his own had made his heart melt.

The Doctor stared at the park as kids ran around, swinging and playing tag. He knew one day Rose would be one of those mothers watching as their child played, and he'd be out her life. Forgotten. There was no way Rose could settle down with him. It wouldn't be right. All the complications, the fact that he'd outlive her and then of course if they had children they'd be part Time Lord, it just wouldn't work. _I could make it work though…_ He hated the part of him that took risks. It made his feelings for Rose magnify and then he felt worse knowing they could never be together. _It wouldn't… couldn't work._

He smiled as he watched a small brown haired boy trip and fall and what appeared to be his younger sister helped him up, taking him by the hand to the swings. The two siblings clearly cared for each other deeply and the Doctor only hoped that Rose would teach her children to be so considerate. He knew she'd make a fantastic mother one day. Though she'd probably deny the fact that she couldn't go on any more adventures. She'd probably end up taking her small child with her and running away from monsters would be accompanied by a fearful crying child.

As is thoughts began to drift the Doctor was suddenly bought back down to Earth by a familiar whooshing sound and the tingle in the air that only meant one thing. The TARDIS was landing. Frowning slightly he looked about. Surely he… or another of his selves wouldn't be landing here when he knew he was already here?

Glancing at the corner where many months before he'd parked his own TARDIS he now saw the time ship materialising into view. His frown deepened. If he was coming to find himself something must be deadly wrong. The TARDIS engines stopped and the door opened carefully.

Out stepped Rose, wearing a pair of ordinary jeans and an ordinary blue top. But something was different. It was his Rose, but older, maybe only by a few months, but defiantly older. After her a man followed. Tall, with a mop of scruffy brown hair and dark chocolate brown eyes, he was fairly dashing, wearing a long brown trench coat and pinstriped suit. They were both looking at the Doctor and he began to feel slightly self conscious.

Rose turned and said something to the brown haired man before carefully walking towards the Doctor. Her eyes were shinning, tears obviously threatening and the Doctor began to wonder what had happened. As soon as she was within ear shot she began talking.

"Doctor," she said, throwing her arms round him. The Doctor hugged her back wondering what on earth had got her so upset. The man in the pinstripe suit was walking over slightly slower than Rose and nodded at the Doctor. That was when he understood. The other man was him. He'd obviously regenerated. "I know this is breaking so many Time Laws, but you- he said that he remembered it."

Rose pulled back tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I just needed to say goodbye," she whispered. The Doctor glanced at his future self who nodded and wandered away leaving the pair of them in privacy.

"Rose, I don't know what happened, and I don't want you to tell me," the Doctor began. "But why did you come back?"

"I needed to say goodbye," she repeated quietly. "I needed to be able to let go."

They stared at each other for a moment, the Doctor seeing pain in Rose's soft brown eyes, Rose seeing confusion in the Doctor's bright blue ones.

"It was destroying our relationship," Rose said quietly. "I knew that I was shopping now and the new you said that he remembered this…"

The Doctor nodded.

"It's ok," he said smiling softly. "If this is goodbye, then there's something you need to know…"


	2. Chapter 2

**400 years later on the planet Makling.**

Rose looked about desperately. The Doctor had disappeared _again _and now she was having to fight off a group of Walkies with the Sonic Screwdriver and a cup of water. The Walkies were usually a peaceful race that looked like a cross between a wolf and a giraffe that stood on their hind legs. For some reason they were morbidly afraid of water.

The Doctor had managed to pick the one time when the Walkies were distrusting any humans or human looking creatures since they had discovered that humans had been hunting them.

"Stay back!" Rose warned, holding the cup of water out in front of her and trying to sound menacing.

The Walkies hissed and scratched her from behind. Rose turned and threatened the other side with water, once more leaving her back unguarded.

Just as she was about to get really mad, the Doctor ran past shouting and wearing only a pair of knickers, armed with a hose.

Rose wanted to laugh, but somehow it only made her heart sink. He was trying to cheer her up again. Ever since he'd regenerated the Doctor had come up with weirder and weirder ways to try and help her move on from his previous incarnation. But Rose needed to do it in her own time and she knew she'd have to explain this to the Doctor eventually.

"Leave the girl alone," the Doctor warned holding up the hose. The Walkies shrank back and Rose walked towards the Doctor. He looked at her carefully. "Alright?"

"Yeah," she replied looking at the Walkies sadly. "Where'd you leave your clothes?"

"TARDIS," the Doctor replied deflating slightly. Rose seemed sadder than ever despite his best efforts to make her laugh, make her smile. "C'mon, lets go back…"

He held out his hand for her and she took it, though she didn't feel the same. Ever since his regeneration Rose had acted different towards him. The Doctor was beginning to think he'd never be able to talk to her properly again.

When they got back to the TARDIS the Doctor closed the doors slowly, making a point of locking them before he turned and headed up the ramp. Rose was stood next to the console watching him carefully.

"Where we off to next?" She asked trying to sound enthusiastic and failing.

The Doctor didn't look at her for a moment as he pulled on his pinstriped suit and long brown trench coat.

"Rose?" he said quietly.

"Yeah?" She asked frowning slightly.

"What's wrong?" He looked her straight in the eye, his dark brown eyes melting into her own chocolate ones.

"Nothing," Rose said mentally kicking herself for letting her feelings show so obviously.

"You miss him don't you?" He asked seriously. "You resent me for being me because it meant you had to loose him."

"No… I don't… honestly…" Rose looked around hopelessly.

"Then what's wrong? Ever since I regenerated you've been acting like you don't know me. Like I'm some random friend of Mickey's who you don't really _want_ to know," the Doctor looked at her the pain evident in his eyes.

Rose looked away unable to take much more. She sank into the chair in the console room, biting her lip.

"It's not that I don't lo- like you…" Rose started knowing it sounded awful. "You're still my Doctor and you always will be-"

"You're not acting like it," the Doctor replied. He didn't say it nastily, just with a note of hurt in his voice.

"I just need time to adjust to the fact that I'm never gonna see the other you again… it's silly because you're still stood in front of me… but…" Rose trailed off.

"It's one of those silly human emotions isn't it?" The Doctor asked slightly downhearted.

"No, Doctor-" Rose began again but he cut across her.

"Rose, I'm sorry that I didn't give you fore-warning about regeneration, but you knew the dangers of travelling me. Now I don't care if you don't want to be as close to me anymore, but please don't act like I killed your best friend," The Doctor said turning to the console so she couldn't see the tear that were threatening. He was really starting to hate his new self. Not only did Rose seem to detest him, but his emotions were much more prominent.

"Doctor…" Rose took several deep breath as her voice wobbled precariously. "I still see you as my best friend. You are and always will be _my_ Doctor. But I never got to say goodbye to the old you, that's why it feels so weird. You gave me the chance to say goodbye to my Dad, but I never got that chance with you."

The Doctor turned back, looking at her as something in his memory sparked. A while back in his previous incarnation he remembered meeting himself, Rose had come to say goodbye. If he took her he'd only be fulfilling the Time Stream, he wouldn't be breaking any laws. Plus if it made Rose happy then they might be able to move back to normality. Or as close to normality as you could get in the TARDIS.

"Rose, would it make things better if you could say goodbye?" He asked.

Rose studied him carefully.

"I suppose, yeah," she replied chewing her lip. "I'd be able to move on properly…"

"I remember you coming back to say goodbye," the Doctor admitted. "The other me, I took you to him and you said goodbye…"

He still had mixed feelings about that goodbye; though it was him she was saying all that stuff to he still felt jealous of himself. Which was totally ridiculous.

"Wouldn't it be breaking about a million time laws?" Rose asked looking at him and not daring to believe what he was saying.

"No, because I remember it happening so we'd only be following the time stream…" the Doctor sighed.

"It's that time when you took me home to shop wasn't it?" She said quietly. "That's why you acted funny when we first set off again…"

The Doctor nodded.

"If you don't want to then don't, but I can't live with knowing that you still want the old me back," The Doctor said seriously. Rose took a few tentative steps forward and squeezed his hand.

"I promise I will move on as soon as I've said goodbye," she said just as seriously looking him straight in the eye.

"Ok, let's go," the Doctor said, his hearts fluttering at the firm touch. This was the first time in months that Rose had properly held his hand.

As the TARDIS took off he hoped she'd keep her promise and return to normal afterwards. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of this… awkwardness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Earth, 2006, outside the Powell Estate.**

"What?" Asked Rose wiping her tears as she looked at her old Doctor once more.

"Nothing could ever come of it, it wouldn't be right, and of course I'd outlive you by centuries, but…" the Doctor paused, his bright blue eyes burning with the intense flame they always did. "I do love you, you know."

Rose smiled slightly.

"You still do," she said nodding at the other Doctor who was leaning on the park railings watching the world go by.

"I hope I've been behaving myself," the Doctor said, shoving his hands awkwardly into his leather jacket.

"You're the perfect gentleman," Rose said turning back. They paused for a moment just looking at each other. "I love you too by the way."

The Doctor was slightly taken aback. He hadn't been sure if Rose had thought of him that way, or if her feelings might've disappeared after the regeneration.

Rose had to fight very hard not to let a sob escape her lips then. She still couldn't believe it. Her old Doctor was stood just in front of her, a few inches away.

Neither knew who initiated it, but somehow they ended up kissing, one sweet kiss goodbye. They stood their frozen in time, just holding each other in their arms.

The future Doctor stood staring at the pair in his long brown coat. He felt a pang of jealousy despite the fact that it was his own self over there kissing Rose. He only hoped now she'd have the closure she needed to move on with her life.

Rose broke the kiss very reluctantly, mumbling something about being sorry. The Doctor cupped her cheek gently.

"For what?" He asked her. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Rose smiled softly.

"Bye, Doctor," she said quietly.

"Goodbye, my Rose Tyler," he whispered grinning.

They parted and Rose wandered slowly back to her own Doctor. The two Doctor's eyes met and both knew that they had done what had needed to be done.

"Done?" Asked the Doctor gently. Rose looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks and nodded.

"Yeah," she replied smiling slightly. He held out his hand to her and she took it. For the first time in months she actually took it. Properly. She held it as she had done all those months ago before his regeneration.

His hearts soared as they wandered back towards the TARDIS together, the old Doctor watching them go before turning and heading for the Powell estate to find his own Rose.

As the Doctor closed the TARDIS doors he turned slowly to Rose who was wiping the last of her tears away.

"Feel better?" He asked smiling gently at her. She nodded.

"Yup," Rose said as brightly as she could muster after having just cried what felt like buckets of tears.

He walked up the ramp and pulled her into a hug. Again, she responded, hugging him the way she'd done previously. It felt so good to finally have his Rose back, but he knew he'd have to tread carefully. After all she'd had a very tearful goodbye.

"You umm," Rose pulled back for a moment to look at the Doctor. "You told me something… before I said goodbye…"

The Doctor looked at her carefully. He'd been wondering when she'd ask.

"You said… you said that you loved me," she continued, turning pink around the edges. "Do you… I mean, I understand if you don't… but do…"

He could see that Rose was having trouble plucking up the courage to get the words out, so he decided to answer the question he knew she was about to ask.

"Yes," he said, looking at her seriously.

"I thought so," she said. "I just wanted to say… that I still… love you to…"

The Doctor grinned as she said the words he'd been longing to hear for so long.

"That's why I had to go back," Rose said. "It felt like I was betraying the other you. That's why we kissed, just so he- that you, know that it's the Time Lord inside that I love."

The Doctor nodded looking at her properly for the first time in months. He knew he shouldn't, and he knew that if he gave Rose what she wanted then he'd have to deal with all the implications, but… oh to hell with it!

The Doctor leant forward and gently kissed her. Rose didn't pull back, as he had feared she might. But he knew it could never last. Eventually they parted and the Doctor took her by the hand up towards the console.

"Rose," he began as he set the TARDIS in flight.

"I know," she said quietly. "I know we can't… you said… the other you… I just need to know that you do love me."

She squeezed his hand and he smiled gratefully that she wasn't making it difficult.

"I do love you," he said. "But it can never go further than that."

Rose nodded. She could live with it.

"Of course there may be occasions when we have to kiss, you know, for scientific purposes," the Doctor said grinning.

"Oh well of course," Rose agreed looking up and grinning back.

"Ready to go find more trouble?" He asked.

"You bet," she replied, glad that she had finally been able to say goodbye.


End file.
